Nancy Upton shops for the perennial holiday clichés, dishing plenty of sass in the process. We guarantee her picks will not end up in the back of a drawer.
We all have a Christmas underwear story (or several), but I’m willing to bet mine with top yours.
I was 17, gathered around the tree with my nearest and dearest, when my aunt and her boyfriend insisted that I open the present they brought just for me. Blushing as I delicately lifted layers of pink tissue from that unmistakable Victoria’s Secret bag, I soon discovered five pairs of pastel panties. For the remainder of our festive evening, I was left to embarrassingly cradle those lacy undergarments in front of my entire family.
Now, as an adult, I believe that before you give someone a bag o’ skivvies, you must ask yourself, “Have I seen this person in their underwear before, and am I likely to see them in it again?” If the answer is “yes”, you can probably safely buy them underwear. If the answer is “no”, buy them socks and stop thinking about them in their underwear immediately.
Following are my picks in both categories, all guaranteed to please. You’re welcome.
Firstly, the Josie Natori for Target collection has arrived, and it is the perfect mix of style, comfort, and affordability. Within this wide array of items, you could conceivably find gifts for both your grandma and your girlfriend in the same place. That should give you something fun to discuss with your therapist after the holidays. (Three-piece Pajama Set, $34.99, and Print Teddy, $24.99, from Target)
Now, guys, let’s say you have an interest in seeing your special someone in the underwear you give them, but you don’t want that gift to scream, “I have a fantasy about a pirate queen.” Rather than outlandish lingerie, give your lady a Chantelle bra, and not only will she look amazing in it, but she’ll probably wear her well-fitting, long-lasting gift every day for the rest of her life. (Sexy C-Chic Demi Underwire Bra, $68, from Bare Necessities)
And if your lady friend wants to lace up a corset around her beautiful curves, I love this bustier from Torrid. It’s attractive, but it isn’t too far over the top. And by the way, congratulations to you for having such a sexy lady friend. (Black with Red Sash Bustier, $34, from Torrid)
Moving on to gifts from her to him, if the man in your life really cares about his underwear, Hanro would be a real treat. And if the man in your life looks like this model, please take a picture and send it my way. Thank you. (Boxer Briefs, starting at $43, from Hanro of Switzerland)
However, if the man in your life does not really care about his underwear, give him Star Wars boxers. (Star Wars Boxer Briefs, $13.50, from Web Undies)
For a friend (or for yourself), I recommend Wolford hosiery. The quality is unmatched. In fact, I’ve had a pair of Wolford fishnets for going on three years now, which is roughly 21 years in fishnet years. And if fishnets are not your target’s cup of tea, Wolford’s patterned tights are also beautiful. (Sixty-Six Tights, $45, and Paradise Peacock Tights, $65, from Wolford)
Finally, when you’re running out of ideas and time, there is surely at least one item from Sock Dreams that will be perfect for anyone on your list. If I had a million dollars, I would buy every pair of socks available at Sock Dreams, and fill my home with floor-to-ceiling sock awesomeness. Which will give me something fun to discuss with my therapist after the holidays. (Socks, starting at under $10, from Sock Dreams)